Changing our outer circumstances will never reverse how we feel about the past.  The only way for us to free our past and live today is to look at it from a different perspective.  In order to release the past we must learn to see   to look at ourselves from new viewpoint, one that is of God.

Think back to a time when you were harmed in some way by another.  More than likely you immediately believed it was about you; what you did or did not do, what you said or did not say, how you reacted to a situation.  But in reality what happened was never about you.  It was then and continues to be about the other person, where they were emotionally at the time of the offense.   And yet you and I are the ones holding onto these experiences.

The first new tool to put in your toolbox is what I call the “Who I Am” tool.  We are not what has happened to us, we are not our experiences.  Likewise, we are not what we have done or said to another. 

You and I are children of the Divine, of God.  And as a child of God we have an inheritance that no one, not even us, can take away.  

Blessings for TODAY,
Jeannine

The same is true of your previous attempts to let go of your past; without knowing it you used what you thought were the right tools before you assessed the problem.   
 
If you are like me your toolbox is filled with tools that are outdated and useless.  While they are not tangible like a screwdriver, they are tools just the same and as real.  For years you have probably pulled them out of your toolbox and tried using them to release your past, but they all failed.  

Speaking from personal experience I know about having used the wrong tools to let go of my past.  My toolbox was packed to overflowing with tools that had outlived their usefulness and failed to fit the task. 

Are some of these tools in your toolbox?
 
• “Tell everyone I know and everyone I meet” tool
• “Repeat the story and replay the scene in my head” tool
• “Why did it happened to me” tool
• “Just forget it” or “get over it” tool
• “I’ll wish it away” tool
• “I am the victim” & “I was innocent” tool set
• “If only” tool
• “I should have, I could have, or why didn’t I” tool set
• “Poor me” tool
• “It happened because” tool
• “It was their fault” tool
• “Hope for a different outcome” tool
• “Believe you are permanently damaged or broken” tool
• “My life has been all bad” tool

And my personal favorite:

• “If I keep busy I don’t have to think about the past” tool

None of these tools will permanently fix the past or release it from your thoughts.  In fact, they do just the opposite they keep it in the forefront of your life. 

Before you can select the right tools you must figure out which tools you regularly use to pry loose your past.  What other tools are in your toolbox?

Set aside some time, sit quiet and ask yourself:
• How do I keep my past alive?
• How do I keep my hurt in the forefront of my life?
• What tools have I been using?
• When do I think about the past?
o      Recall your habits surrounding the past
o      When I’m around family, at work
o      When I look at old photos or hear a story in the news

Write down your answers, possibly in a journal.  Identity all the tools you have used, how often and when.  Take as much time as you need.  This process usually cannot be completed all at one time.  The outdated or broken tools you have used will come to you when you ask.  

It is time to empty your toolbox, toss out all the outdated and useless tools these tools, never to use them again.  Then and only then can you refill your toolbox with the right new, helpful tools.       

Remember the length of time you have held onto your past is far greater than the time it takes to work through this process and move on.

Blessings for TODAY,
Jeannine

A dentist may know that a patient’s tooth has decay and is in need of a filling, but all the education and knowledge in the world does not get the job done. It takes tools such as novacaine, gauze, suction, and a drill.  Without a drill the dentist cannot remove the decay and fill the tooth.  Of course the dentist could pull the tooth, but that too requires an extraction device, a different tool. 

As I mentioned in an earlier message your task is to let go of the past so that you can live today.  Your intention and knowledge alone are not enough for you to release your past.  As with all tasks you need to work with and apply the right the tools.  
 
Intellectually you may know of your need to let go of the past, the internal decay that is rotting your daily life.  You wish to extricate all the hurts of the past and fill the hole with the wonder of today.   But somehow you cannot get a hold of what it is that is causing you so much pain.  You have tried deadening the pain of the past, using novacaine so to speak, by keeping busy, trying to figure out why the hurt happened, what you could have done differently, and maybe making excuses.  But no matter what and how frequent your attempts the past continues to impact your life today.

Do you believe that a dentist can deaden, remove the decay and refill a tooth merely by his mind, his intention?  Would a dentist, or any other tradesman, set up shop in an empty space, wait for clients and then “intend” the tooth filled, the patient well, the car fixed, the software program designed, the picture painted, the bridge built, or the book written.  It takes more than intention and knowledge to accomplish any task.  It requires selecting the correct tools for the task and then using them.  It takes action.  

To perform any task it takes both intention and the right tools.  Without intention even the right and most advanced tools will not work.  Likewise, without the correct tools the greatest of intentions cannot accomplish a task.  

I do not know the reasons behind your decision to release the past, but the fact that you are reading this manual tells me you have the desire, the intention to let go.  But what is your desire based on?  Why do you want to release the past?  Are you tired of thinking and reliving the experience?  Are the memories painful, do they consume your thoughts and feelings?  Do you want to move on and heal?  Are you tired of the energy it takes to keep the past alive?  Why now?  Do you want to live the life of your dreams?  What has finally convinced you it is time to let go of your past and move on?  Just what is your intention, your desire?

Spend time answering these questions.  Go deep; the answers are within you.  Write down your responses, possibly in a journal.  What comes up and out of you is for your eyes only, so do not be afraid to be honest and forthright.  This is all about you, no one else.  Set aside time each day to be with yourself, understanding what it is you want to let go of, what you want out of life, and how you want to live each new today.  Set your intention; know what it is you want.

I will begin to identify and describe the specific tools in my next message.

Blessings for TODAY, Jeannine

Owners’ manuals identify specific tools needed to accomplish each task, often including pictures of the correct tools.  The manual may warn that the use of the wrong tool might damage the item, making it inoperative.  
 
The Today Manual, tools & tips for letting go of your past is a step by step, hands-on guidebook on how to accomplish for the task of letting go of your past.  It identifies and describes the specific power tools you will need to work through, heal from, release, and move beyond your past and in to your today.  The Today Manual explains when and how to use each powerful tool, with tips to help you along the way.  Like other manuals it is a reference book to be taken out and used when needed to troubleshoot a problem, repair some damage, or search for help.  So keep it handy.
  
The Today Manual is your personal guide out of the past and in to “today.”

Blessings for TODAY, Jeannine

I suggest you keep a journal or notebook of your answers to the list of questions and thoughts that surface as you go through the process.  What you write is for your eyes only, so be as detailed as possible. 

When answering the questions be specific, trying not to judge yourself or the other person.  Be honest about your feelings, do not sugarcoat your answers to make yourself look better or the other person worse.  Remember this is about your healing, no one elses.  

What hurt, disappointment, injury, misfortune, or trauma in your life are you holding on to?  Be specific.  Record the who, what, and the when of the experience.  Allow your feelings surrounding the event to surface.  How you felt then and still do about the situation.
 
What about the event continues to haunt you?

What story do you replay in your mind and or share with others?

If more than one experience comes to mind write them all down.   Select the one event that most troubles you, seems to keep you stuck in your past.

That’s enough for now.

Blessings for TODAY,  Jeannine

The painful challenges in our lives may seem limitless; a divorce, financial failure, neglect or abandonment by a parent, bullying at school, physical or emotional abuse, job loss, cruel words of another, physical challenges, disloyalty of a friend or family member, loss of a loved one, the end of one’s previous life style, ruin of one’s reputation, or loss of belongings.  The list of personal affronts or injuries is infinite.  

Everyone has experienced similar situations in his or her life.  No one is immune, and no one ever will be. 

So what’s the big deal? 

For reasons known only to you and me, we are stuck reliving the past in our minds, thinking about what could or should have been, wishing things had been different, hoping for an outcome that can never be, and allowing the past to influence our current thoughts, actions, reactions, and behavior in a negative way.

That’s a big deal!

Before you and I confront our past we must be aware that there have been times when we, knowingly or unknowingly, harmed another by our own actions and words. In turn, that person felt injured or damaged in some way.  As we go through the process of letting go of, and healing from our past it may be necessary for you and I to put our attention on what we have done that harmed another.
 
Regardless if we were on the receiving or giving end of an injury, the hurts and disappointments seem insurmountable; making it difficult for us to work through, let go of, and move beyond our past. 

So what is it that you need to let go of, to heal from?  Think about the incident.  How did you feel about yourself at the time of the occurrence and afterwards?  More than likely you still carry the same emotional response to the event, those same feelings.  Otherwise you would not recall the incident, and all its details, as vividly as you do.  

It is not our experiences that you and I need to let go of and heal from.  Instead, it is how the incident made us feel about ourselves.  Although I use the term “made us feel,” know that it was and is our emotional response, and not the event itself, that caused us to feel and think of ourselves as we do.  This is an important distinction.

You and I are entitled to our feelings.  And while our feelings are a direct result of our experiences, we are responsible for evaluating those same feelings in the context of the hurts, disappointments, or trauma we encountered.      

For over 50 years I allowed my childhood trauma to influence, even dictate, my current thoughts, behavior, actions, and reactions.  Details of my past continually flooded my mind, keeping me stuck in a time warp of sorts. Even though I wanted to escape my past I was uncertain it was possible.  

The impact my past had, and was still having, on my life was monumental.  I was physically and emotionally exhausted; tired of wishing things had been different, tired of the time and energy it took to hold on to the past, tired of not enjoying today, tired negative thoughts about myself, tired of focusing on what I believed to be my limitations, tried of using the past as an excuse for not being all that I can be, and tired of having a mere existence rather than a life.    
 
To spend means to pay for something, to give something of value to get something else.  For over five decades I paid the ultimate price.  I spent over 18,250 of my “todays,” and in exchange I held on tight to old thought patterns and memories of my past.  In return for a few yesterdays I had given up “today” for 50 years.

I made the decision that I would not spend, could not waste another today.     

How much have you paid in exchange for your past?  How many years have you spent?  How many days?  How much thought and energy, how much potential, how much self criticism and doubt have you expended?  

Even though I was uncertain whether it was possible to let go of and heal from my past, I was steadfast in my decision to try.  I had no idea what my first step towards freeing the past would be.  I had tried unsuccessfully many times before, but this time I was unwavering in my resolve not to give up or procrastinate.  

I became acutely aware that all of my other attempts to let go of my past centered on me trying to forget the past, attempting to tell myself, “It’s over, just get over it.” 

I reached the conclusion that I was still living the past because I had not worked through it.  And if I was ever going to heal I had to work through the past, not ignore it.

Each day I show up for life and remind myself, “It’s either today or never.”

How many times have you tried to release your past?  Can you even count them?  Are you using the same approach each time? Do you tell yourself, “I’ll do it when.”  

Today is now or never.
 
Blessings for TODAY, Jeannine

Your task is to let go of your past.

You are probably saying to yourself, “Yea, easier said than done!  I’ve tried for years to let go of what happened and it’s not possible.” 

If only for a nanosecond, believe that no matter what you age or experience you have the power inside you to let go of your past.  
 
What does it mean to let go?  To let go of anything implies to release, to set-free, to liberate.  You cannot release anything until you know what it is that you are holding on to.  You cannot unleash your past until you know the ties that bind you together.    

Through my own process of releasing my past I learned that I was not holding on to my experiences, therefore it was not my experiences that I had to set free.  Instead, I was hanging on to my feelings surrounding the past. 

Like me, you are not holding on to your experiences and therefore it is not your experiences that you need to let go of.  What you are clinging to with all your might is how these experiences made you feel about yourself.  I use the term “made you feel” but in truth no person or experience made, or can make you, feel a certain way about yourself.  It was, and continues to be, your reaction to a particular event that causes you to feel as you do about yourself. 

Your experiences are long gone, but the ties that bind you to them are your feelings.  It is these feelings that you need to set-free, to let go of.  Healing cannot take place until you release the feelings associated with your life experience.  And it is in letting go of these past events that you will find yourself living today and each new today.

Think about the times you have tried to let go of your past?  How many times have you told yourself to “just forget it” or to “get over it?”  Have you tried to justify why it happened?  Have you placed blame and said, “If only I had done this or they had not done that?”  These techniques fail to address the problem instead they focus on the symptom.  
 
Imagine for a moment that you have low back pain and each day you take aspirin or other pain medication for relief.  The pain leaves for a while only to return within hours or the next day.  After days or weeks of using medicines they no longer relieve the pain or it takes more of them to treat the symptom. Your pain gets worse and begs to be felt.  Up to this point you have focused on relieving the symptom, and have not addressed the real issue, which let’s say is a pinched nerve.

The same is true about your past.  You have been trying to rid yourself of the symptoms and not facing the real issue which is, and has always been, how you felt and continue to feel about yourself in relationship to what happened long ago.

Think about the times you have tried to let go of your past?  How many times have you told yourself to “just forget it” or to “get over it?”  Have you tried to justify why it happened?  Have you placed blame and said, “If only I had done this or they had not done that?”  How many times have relived the details of an experience in your mind or told others what happened to you?   These techniques fail because they focus on the symptoms and not the problem.  
 
Your task is to not repeat all the unsuccessful ways in which you have already tried to let go of your past.  Those techniques have not worked up to this point and they will not work now.    
   
Your assignment is to work through the process of knowing and letting go of your feelings associated with your experiences, those feelings that keep you tethered to your past. 

It is time to take this new approach.  You have nothing to lose but your past.

Blessings for TODAY, Jeannine

For over five decades I held on to my childhood experiences of abuse, allowing what I had experienced to define me.  I believed that I was broken, unworthy, less than whole, and would never be good enough.

I’ve come to realize that the saddest part of my life was not my abuse.  Instead, it was that I spent over 50 years believing I was unworthy, and never would be.    

What breaks my heart is that countless others, because of their experiences, believe themselves to be broken and in need of fixing.  They  have forgotten their true identity as a good, worthy, whole and glory-filled child of God. 

It is my passion to teach others how to work through, let go of, and move beyond their past and in to their “today.”  And in the process assist them in rediscovering and reclaiming their true heritage as a blessed child of God.  

Thanks to a little dog named Baby and with the grace of God I was able to let go of and heal from my past.  It is my hope that what I have to share will help you do the same.  God bless you as we go through this process together.

Blessings for today, Jeannine

Jeannine Fox

 …and I hope you beneift in some way from the lessons I have learned and will share.  Even though we have never meant know that as a visitor to this blog you are in my thoughts and prayers each day.   Please contact me if I can be of any service to you by clicking on the “CONTACT” tab above.

This was an “aha” moment, an awakening that changed my life. In an instant I understood that for Baby’s new hair to emerge there had to be a release of her old hair. If new growth was to come forth her old, less healthy hair, had to fall away. Baby’s process of release came naturally. It wasn’t something that required a decision on Baby’s part.

Unlike Baby, however, my process of letting go did not come naturally. I knew I had to make a choice. I could either continue to hold onto my hurtful childhood experiences, or I could finally set them and myself free. Sitting with Baby I allowed myself to see the analogy between her natural hair loss and my need to find a way to let go of the past. I thought about how Baby’s old hair had once served a purpose, just the right thickness to withstand the winter. But as spring and summer approached her old thick coat of hair no longer was needed, no longer served the need it once did. It was time for her to welcome a new lighter, healthier coat. As the seasons changed so did she. She lived in the moment, with no concern about the past.

I thought of how my clinging to the story of my childhood experiences had once protected me, kept me save from further harm. But, I was an adult now. I was 61. And the story of what happened to me as a child served no purpose, no longer offered me shelter. Instead, the story I was reliving in my mind, was strangling, even suffocating me.

Without knowing it, I had denied myself the new growth, my healing, that I so richly deserved. The winter of my life was over. If I was to welcome spring I had to find a way to lighten my load; a way to work through, let go of, and heal from what happened many years ago.

On that day I made the decision to find a way to “today.”

My journey into “today” has taken me to places within my heart and mind that I never could have imagined.  I came to know that I was not alone in my search for answers.  If you are searching for a way out of your past and into your “today” I hope what I share will be of help along your path.

Your new life awaits you.  Enjoy the journey.  YOU DESERVE IT!

Blessings for today,  Jeannine