The Today Manual

Have you ever put a screw into something and before long it had worked itself loose.  Using a screwdriver you tightened the screw again and the same thing happened.  You tried the same approach, without permanent success, until finally you realized that the trouble wasn’t the screw but rather the hole it was in.  So you looked at the issue from a different perspective, identified the problem, and then selected the right tool for the task.  

The same is true of your previous attempts to let go of your past; without knowing it you used what you thought were the right tools before you assessed the problem.   
 
If you are like me your toolbox is filled with tools that are outdated and useless.  While they are not tangible like a screwdriver, they are tools just the same and as real.  For years you have probably pulled them out of your toolbox and tried using them to release your past, but they all failed.  

Speaking from personal experience I know about having used the wrong tools to let go of my past.  My toolbox was packed to overflowing with tools that had outlived their usefulness and failed to fit the task. 

Are some of these tools in your toolbox?
 
• “Tell everyone I know and everyone I meet” tool
• “Repeat the story and replay the scene in my head” tool
• “Why did it happened to me” tool
• “Just forget it” or “get over it” tool
• “I’ll wish it away” tool
• “I am the victim” & “I was innocent” tool set
• “If only” tool
• “I should have, I could have, or why didn’t I” tool set
• “Poor me” tool
• “It happened because” tool
• “It was their fault” tool
• “Hope for a different outcome” tool
• “Believe you are permanently damaged or broken” tool
• “My life has been all bad” tool

And my personal favorite:

• “If I keep busy I don’t have to think about the past” tool

None of these tools will permanently fix the past or release it from your thoughts.  In fact, they do just the opposite they keep it in the forefront of your life. 

Before you can select the right tools you must figure out which tools you regularly use to pry loose your past.  What other tools are in your toolbox?

Set aside some time, sit quiet and ask yourself:
• How do I keep my past alive?
• How do I keep my hurt in the forefront of my life?
• What tools have I been using?
• When do I think about the past?
o      Recall your habits surrounding the past
o      When I’m around family, at work
o      When I look at old photos or hear a story in the news

Write down your answers, possibly in a journal.  Identity all the tools you have used, how often and when.  Take as much time as you need.  This process usually cannot be completed all at one time.  The outdated or broken tools you have used will come to you when you ask.  

It is time to empty your toolbox, toss out all the outdated and useless tools these tools, never to use them again.  Then and only then can you refill your toolbox with the right new, helpful tools.       

Remember the length of time you have held onto your past is far greater than the time it takes to work through this process and move on.

Blessings for TODAY,
Jeannine